[mk_dropcaps style="fancy-style"]M[/mk_dropcaps]y thoughts on sexuality have felt a lot like a ping pong ball going back and forth from the world’s view to god’s view. Once I rededicated my life to Jesus over 5 years ago, I made a commitment in my heart to live God’s way. I no longer see sex as an option before marriage. Though, my past is a contradiction to that. I have had to learn to receive the incredible truth of God’s promise that He makes all things new and remind myself of this daily. He is the God of resurrection. Not just of our lives but down to every part of our being, including our purity. While that is the truth, I have found in my prayer time I often ask God: “How do I honor you in this single season? What do I need to shift in my thinking and habits now to make that transition into marriage smooth? How do I walk in wholeness and purity today to honor this gift before it is even enjoyed?” God’s restoration of my purity happened as soon as I confessed my sin and in my heart turned from my old M.O. But what does this look like day to day? While I am made new, I still have memories of the past.
Here are a two things God has shown me:
1) Live Unified- When I came back to church my sexuality was something that I ended up putting in quarantine. It was the only solution I saw because all I had known, up to that point, was the world’s stance of sex: More is better, as long as it is “safe” and consenting. So I slapped the “bad” label on sex and my sexuality as I was so broken from doing it the way the world modeled it. Avoidance seemed the best thing to do. “When I’m stronger I can come back and address this” is what I told myself. From the outside it could seem that I was more “spiritually mature.” When in reality I was afraid to repeat the same mistakes of my past and had yet to embrace healing in this area. I could hide behind what others saw and believe I actually was emotionally and spiritually wise in this area but, at the heart of it, I was living in fear not faith.
Sexuality is something that must be embraced and expressed in a healthy manner. It can neither be ignored nor made a focus. It is a part of us, down to our deepest desires for love and affection. We can NOT, no matter how much we try, run from it; we cannot let it rule us either. Living with a part of you still imprisoned is not freedom. As Job reminds the Lord:
[mk_blockquote style="line-style" font_family="none" text_size="18" align="center"]your hands made me and fashioned me, an intricate unity...- Job 10:8[/mk_blockquote]
we are intricately unified. Ignoring a part of yourself divides the soul. Essentially you are living in doubt of the quality of God’s craftsmanship. Face those parts of you that have been kept in the darkness. Allow God to heal it up so it can operate in health and as He designed it. Don’t hide it and don’t flaunt it. Allow it to be a part of the intricate unity that makes you, You.
2) Trust More
Once we are internally unified, it is important we face where our faith lies with the Lord. That means solidify our faith that, if faced with the temptations or challenges of our past again, we will trust God enough to operate in His will the next time around. We trust that He will get us through it. After all, in Christ all things are possible.
[mk_blockquote style="line-style" font_family="none" text_size="18" align="center"]If we say one thing and do another, speaking in faith but doubting in our hearts, we are “a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. -James 1:8[/mk_blockquote]
Personally, my mindset was locked in the thought that once you have crossed the proverbial bridge you cannot even be around it without going over it. That my friend is simply false. Where is God in that picture? We will be tempted, we are assured this in scripture, and yet God not only gives us self-control but also promises a way out of those tempting situations. Yes, we must trust the presence of the Holy Spirit to be there to counsel us but even more that, when we hear His voice, we are to obey.
Additionally, in the house of God you are NOT doing life alone. That means in addition to the counsel and presence of the Holy Spirit at every moment, God also provides you with friendships that are Christ-centered as well. Trust that when you are planted in the house of the Lord, He has put healthy accountability around you. Picture your life as a bowling lane with bumpers. As you venture down your path, the love and counsel of God and His people will keep you on track. Trust that they will be there and will be humble and coachable to accept the correction that comes.
After all it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Live freely in the light of the truth of God’s word in all things, even sexuality. Live unified, accepting its presence, but know you can trust that God will keep you accountable to stay on the path of healthy expression of this gift in all seasons.