Significant & Single

[mk_dropcaps style="fancy-style"]T[/mk_dropcaps]oday I want to pause and take a moment to talk to all my single friends out there.  Specifically those of you who are single, and no matter how much you try to hide it you feel that special sting at this time of year.  The awareness of your relationship status being one that gets to fill the single bubble on applications seems somehow to be plastered on your head with all the oohy goohy romantic stuff.  You can not avoid it. Relationships are everywhere on commercials, social media, and in the conversations of your friends on what they are doing for Valentine’s Day. I want to take a moment as a fellow occupant of that single bubble and let you know first off you are not alone and secondly to remind you (and me as well) of a very key truth that is easy to gloss over.

You are significant in your singleness. Somehow our culture is obsessed with weddings and marriage, at the expense of those who are not yet in that category.  Your significance does not change married or unmarried. The wedding industry is a $51 billion dollar industry in America alone and it employs around 800,000 individuals. As a country we are obsessed with the pomp and circumstance of the wedding.

For all you ladies out there I know you have dreamed of this day in one way or the other since you played dress up and when you were at the age where you marched Barbie down the aisle. The real bummer about this is the lack of consideration this focus puts on what really matters in a wedding.  It is not the façade so meticulously planned from the attractiveness of the wedding party, the décor, or to the focal point for all women “The Dress”.  It is the hearts of the people involved.  Are they really ready for marriage not just a wedding event?

There are a lot of really incredible people I know who are married, but were not always as incredible.  They would tell you themselves marriage has tested and stretched them to become more.  I know it has not been an easy road for them. The wedding industry would have us believe that everything is rainbows and sunshine in marriage. That the struggle is better than the struggles singles face.  Really?  Last I checked when you add in twice the people you have twice the mess.   There is a value to waiting and dealing with some things on your own before you bring the needs and heart of another into the mix.

On another note there are a lot of incredibly amazing men and women I know who somehow remain single (at least for now). What is up with that?!  Timing is a big piece of that I am aware, but there never is an absolutely perfect time.  Accepting this and letting go of your own timeline will build your faith as it has mine. God’s plan does not work in what is fastest, but rather what is best. In the mean time what harm is there in going on dates?  You can be growing & learning more about what you want, about another person, and having some fun taking steps of faith leaning on God to direct your path to unite you with your helpmate for life.

Let me say it again: the value, significance, and the heart of someone is not summed up in their relationship status. As another blogger puts it “You are significant with or without having a significant other”(Shauna Neiquist). I think I will say that again....

[mk_blockquote style="line-style" font_family="none" text_size="16" align="center"]You are significant with or without a significant other.[/mk_blockquote]

The silent internal ranking we put ourselves against others based off relationship status needs to stop.  Not just for the quality of our relationships, but to stop focusing such valuable energy and creativity obsessing over what we do not have.  This holds true outside of romantic relationships as well, but in the spirit of Valentine’s Day I figured it is about time you single people extended a bit more love and grace to the one person who has literally been with you since the day it all began.  You.

      You are loved, cherished, and significant.  No matter what your relationship status is. Go ahead celebrate that! Happy Valentine’s Day Friends!